Godzilla and Friends meet Yaoi
by Crazybird101
Summary: Godzilla and Friends decide to look up what Yaoi is. What could go wrong?


**Warning:**

**Heavy AU**

**Major OOCNESS**

**Possible typos/writing errors**

**Language**

**No humanizations are used in this fic!**

**(BTW the Godzilla from the 2014 movie and Mutos are being used because 2014 Godzilla is a badass and the Mutos are awesome. Just saying)**

**I do NOT own **_**Godzilla **_

**Flames will be used to roast sausages for Big G. himself. **

**X.X**

_Ding dong! _

Honey, could you get that for me?" FemMuto called from the kitchen as she finished up washing the dishes.

"Alright, alright." HokMuto said as he nonchalantly walked over to the front door with a mug of late night coffee. He then frowned slightly after opening it. Standing on the doorstep were none other then Godzilla, Rodan, and Anguirus. "Oh. Hello, Big G." Hok said before taking a sip of his coffee. "What a _pleasant _surprise. What brings you guys over?"

"We were on our way home from Movie Night in Titanosaurus's place and decided to drop by and hang out for a bit." Godzilla replied.

"Really now. What movie did you all see?"

There was a long, drawn out silence amongst the other Kaijus. With a heavy sigh, Godzilla replied, "_Frozen_."

"_Frozen_?" Hok repeated. "My wife and I saw that recently."

"Yeah, well, here's the problem: Anguirus won't stop quoting the movie." Rodan said bluntly.

"But, Rodan! Some Kaijus are worth melting for." Anguirus said before embracing the other Kaiju in a cuddly hug; rubbing his cheek against his shoulder.

"If you don't get off of me in five seconds, I'm going to fucking throw you across the ocean and make sure you land inside a volcano." Rodan said in an eerily calm voice. An annoyed expression plastered on his face. Anguirus then pulled away and looked directly at Rodan's face with an offended look.

"It's not nice to throw Kaijus!" he scolded.

"... He's going to be doing this all night. Isn't he?" Hok said.

"Yeeeeup." Godzilla replied.

"Well, since my wife and I got nothing better to do..."

"Thanks, Hok." Godzilla cut him off as he and the others walked into the house without permission. "You're the best."

"... Or you can just walk into my house without my permission." Hok sighed as he slammed the door closed and followed them into the living room.

"Wooooow, Hok. I never knew you had such a nice place." Rodan said as he looked at a large wedding picture of Hok and FemMuto on their wedding day that was hanging on the wall. "Not to be offensive or anything, but your wife looks kinda...fat in that dress."

"Please don't tell her that." Hok said to him in a hushed voice. Sounding a bit nervous as he spoke. "She's a bit sensitive to that sort of stuff."

Just then, FemMuto walked out of the kitchen and looked a bit surprised to find Godzilla and his friends in her home. "Oh. I didn't expect any guests coming over tonight." she said.

"Long story short, the gang and I wanted to chill out with you guys after Movie Night at Titanosaurus's place." Godzilla said.

"Do I want to know what movie all of you saw?"

"I'll give you a hint: two girls, one snowman." Rodan said.

"... Oh. That one." Fem said after thinking about it for a sec. "What's wrong with that one? It wasn't bad at all in my opinion."

"We don't hate it or anything." Godzilla explained. "It's just that Anguirus won't stop quoting it!"

"What is that _amazing _smell?" Anguirus said after sniffing the air. His eyes then widened and he grins. "Chocolate!" he giggled.

Everyone else looked at him blankly for a good full minute before Fem finally broke the silence. "I'm going to go check on the brownies now..." she said as she slowly backed her way into the kitchen.

"Say. Where's Mothra?" HokMuto asked after noticing that the moth wasn't with them like usual.

"Oh. She decided to stay home and babysit Minilla." Godzilla replied. "Besides, she promised him that they would watch _How to Train your Dragon_ together."

"Ah." Hok replied before he finished up his coffee. "So, um, what should we do?"

"Ooh! Ooh! I know what we should do!" Anguirus said as he frantically waved his claw in the air.

"If it's something to do with _Frozen_..." Rodan said slowly as he gave the other Kaiju a death glare that would even send Gigan running.

"No, you silly goose!" Anguirus said. Slapping his back. "It's something to do with a word I heard Mothra use while she was chatting with one of her friends on the phone. It's something like...yolo? Yaoi! That's it! Yaoi!"

"Yaoi?" Godzilla repeated bluntly. "What the hell is Yaoi?"

"Sounds like a term from Japan." Hok added.

"Does it have something to do with food? Because it sounds like a fancy dessert." Rodan said.

"Exactly! Which is why I was hoping we could go on the internet and find out. Can we? Pleeeeeeeease?" Anguirus, somehow, got on his knees and looked at the others with big puppy eyes.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt." Godzilla said slowly as he rubbed the back of his thick neck. Not really sure himself. "But we all left our phones at home. Remember?"

"I've got a computer in my office." Hok suddenly said. "We can use that."

"Sounds like a good deal." Rodan said.

And so the four made their way over to the office. Once there, Hok switched on the computer and typed in the necessary information to log in. "Please ignore the fact that the wallpaper is of Hetalia." Hok sighed, "My wife uses this computer more than me. She's a big fan of Hetalia." He then dragged the cursor over to the Google icon below and clicked it.

"Why is it taking so long to load?" Rodan asked.

"My wife thinks if she hits the computer, it'll go faster." Hok replied.

"Hey! While we're waiting, do you wanna build a snowman?" Anguirus asked with a wide grin.

"..." Everyone present in the room stared at the Kaiju with blank faces. "There isn't...any...snow on the ground." Godzilla said.

"Then we can build a sandman instead! _Do you wanna build a sandman?_" Anguirus sang.

"I have a better idea." Rodan suggested before turning to the others. "_Will you help me hide a body?_" he sang while gesturing to Anguirus. Hok and Godzilla looked at each other and then back at Rodan.

"Yeah." Godzilla said.

"Sure." HokMuto followed.

Anguirus suddenly felt very uneasy when he saw the glares his friends now giving him. Especially Rodan. "Err... Oh! Look at that. It's on." he said while pointing a finger at the computer screen.

"Oh." Hok said. "Sooooo... How do you spell Yaoi?"

"I think it's Y-a-o-i." Anguirus replied.

"Y-a-o-i." Hok repeated to himself as he spelled it out in the search bar. He brought the cursor over to the search button and clicked it. "It might take a bit to load." the male muto said as they watched the screen patiently. After two minutes, the results popped up.

"Great. Text." Rodan muttered as he folded his winged arms.

"Head over to images." Godzilla said. Unfortunately for him, he would forever regret asking that. As soon as the images popped, all four Kaijus let out long horrified screams. FemMuto, who was in the living room watching Desperate Housewives while eating some brownies, perked up slightly when she heard their screams.

"WHAT IS THAT!? WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THAT!?" Godzilla roared as he pointed a shakey finger at the screen.

"MY EYES! THEY'RE BLEEDING! THEY'RE FRICKEN BLEEDING!" Anguirus screamed as he rolled around on the floor while covering his eyes.

"OOOOOOOOOOH MYYYYYYYYYY TOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!" Hok screeched before vomiting erratically into a nearby trash bin.

"SHUT IT OFF! SHUT THE DAMN THING OFF!" Rodan cried.

"SOMEONE GOUGE OUT MY EYES, ALREADY!" Anguirus screamed in the background.

Godzilla immediately sat down on the chair and attempted to move the cursor over to the X button to close the window. But to his horror, it wouldn't move. "It is not moving. Oh my gosh. IT'S NOT MOVING!" he cried. "THE DAMN THING FROZE!"

Kaijus screamed even louder after that. With Anguirus still rolling on the floor in tears, Rodan slamming his head against the wall in an attempt to get rid of the images in his head, Hok vomiting even more than before, and Godzilla feeling close to insanity.

"There is only one way to fix this!" Godzilla cried. At that moment, the spikes on his back suddenly started to glow blue. With one mighty blow, Godzilla unleashed his atomic breath upon the entire computer. The others watched in complete shock as the computer was reduced into nothing but a smouldering pile of ash. "It's alright... It's dead." Godzilla sighed heavily.

"You destroyed my computer!" Hok screamed. "Now how am I supposed to watch Pewdiepie and Markiplier videos?"

"At least it's finally gone." Rodan said as he rubbed the bump that appeared on his head. "But Anguirus..."

Anguirus lifted his head up and wilted when he saw the burning rage in the other Kaijus eyes before he picked him up and slammed him against the wall. Knocking a few of Hok's family photos down. "You son of a BITCH! Do have any idea in that thick skull of yours on what you've just done!?" Rodan screeched furiously.

"Rodan!" Anguirus managed to gag out as he felt his grip around his throat tighten. In a struggling sing-song voice, he sang, "_Let it gooooooo! Let it gooooooo!_"

"ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING _FROZEN _QUOTES!" Rodan roared before he punched Anguirus in the face before-

**We appear to be experiencing some...technical difficulty at this time.**

**We will return to this fanfic right after a message from Rodan.**

"Hi. My name's Rodan. As some of you might already know, I'm currently beating the crap out of Anguirus right now. But please know that no Kaijus were harmed in the making of this fic. The author figured it would've been best to not add the fighting scene between Anguirus and I in order to avoid conflict on which one of us should've won the battle." (Although it's quite clear that _I _would win the match.)

**Rodan! :(**

"Sorry, sorry. I forgot everyone could read my thoughts. Anyway, that would be all from me."

**We now return to your following program.**

"Again, Anguirus, I'm sorry about beating you until you were about half dead." Rodan said to the other Kaiju as he layed in a hospital bed with all sorts of machines that was hooked up to him.

"I forgive you." Anguirus managed to say back.

"So you landed yourself in the hospital, all because you were saying quotes from _Frozen_?" Mothra asked as she hovered by his bedside.

"Rodan just couldn't take the heat anymore." Hok said.

"Aaaaaand why do all of you sound so hoarse?" Mothra added.

"We looked something called Yaoi and flipped out over it." Godzilla answered.

"Ya- oh." The giant moth then giggled in amusement. "Boy. I would've given anything to see _that _reaction." All of the guys around her frowned in dismay. She even laughed when she heard Rodan mutter "bitch" under his breath. "You know. There's nothing wrong about Yaoi. It's just a guys way of expressing his love to another guy. I read yaoi fanfics all the time and don't see anything wrong about it."

"But it's so WRONG!" Hok protested. "I don't think I've ever seen anything more disgusting in my entire life!"

"You were vomiting most of the time, Hok." Rodan said.

"Shut up, smartass."

"Look." Godzilla then spoke out. "At least we know what it is, and know to avoid it at all costs."

"We can live with that." Rodan while the others nodded quietly in unison.

"_AND_," Godzilla added. "We must NEVER speak of what happened last night. EVER. Agreed?"

"Agreed." the guys said.

"By the way, I should mention something." Mothra suddenly spoke up. "Someone's recently written a fanfic shipping Godzilla and HokMuto."

Hok suddenly spat out all the water he'd been drinking while Godzilla's jaw dropped wide open. "WHAT?" he asked while Hok coughed madly in the background.

"Oh, _this _I gotta see." Rodan said before bringing out his smartphone and clicking on the Google app.

"You can find it on this Fanfiction site. I go there all the time to read Hetalia and Attack on Titan yaoi fics. I personally ship America and Britain." she added in a whisper and wink.

"Don't encourage him!" Godzilla cried.

"Already looking it up." Rodan said.

"Mothra!"

"What?" Mothra asked her guy friend. "I thought I outta let you know before people begin to spam your mailbox or inbox like last time."

"That's because they all thought I was fat!" Godzilla snapped. "I'm not fat! I'm muscular! And when I find the author of that fanfic. I am going TO-"

**I'm afraid we're going to have to end it here folks. Bye bye! :D**


End file.
